Friday 27th December 2019 (8.01pm)
I have somehow managed to get myself through Christmas. My method was to keep busy, keep active and think about things as little as possible. The latter is somewhat difficult, as something occupies my mind literally every waking second. My therapist wants me to slow down (physically and mentally), but I am finding this difficult. I suppose this is something which will not happen overnight and I need to determine what slowing down for someone like me is.
I have made a few decisions lately which I need to ensure I implement. These will take me out of my day to day norm. Whilst I have continued to exercise, which has included running with friends I have also taken myself off to the cinema. Watching a Christmas movie sitting next to loved up couples wasn’t easy but I enjoyed the film and my day out. I am going to make sure I get out and do something like this at least twice a month. Cinema is a good option for me, as it requires me to sit still with no distractions. I already have my next visit planned along with some food. This will be my date day/night (smiley face).
I have made a commitment to myself about joining others in swimming sessions, cycling and running. It is time for me to pop my head above the parapet and get back out there. I am not saying I will suddenly turn into some sociable person, far from it, but this is my attempt at doing what I am told. There are also a number of things which I will step back from doing.
I spent Christmas alone. This was my decision. My choice. The plans that were made a few months ago, changed. The person who I was to spend the day with, no longer that part of my life. I knew it was going to be hard so I had to back away from a full on Christmas Day and do things my way. No pressure. The day soon went as in the morning I volunteered at Parkrun whilst Olly hung out with his pals on the beach next to me. After joining said pals and their humans, myself and Olly visited a friend, dropped off some presents, had a rest before heading back to the beach. The evening was spent eating and watching typical Christmas TV. It was hard but thanks to a handful of people, it was special in its own way. Olly made my day as usual, he was like a child getting up at 0354 to see if Santa had been. He then decided to fall asleep in the afternoon after only opening half of his presents. He then ate more pigs in blankets than me!
Olly at 0354! Excited Olly before Zzzzzzz
I am grateful for the amount of people who invited me to their homes for Christmas Day and yesterday. So many kind people who offered to feed me and make sure that I was ok. I will be first in the queue to repay these invitations.
Tomorrow morning I am back at Parkrun, I have a friend’s 8 year old relative running with me. I just hope he does not go off too fast and wear me out! On Sunday I am off running with a group of friends. These are not New Years resolutions as I do not believe in them, it is just me moving in the right direction, for my health and wellbeing.
If I do not catch up with you all again this year, then see you in 2020 x x
Back out on the bike